i couldn't see all of what you wrote, but there are times that the motivations-against-doing do leave, and i really enjoy those times
i guess i should make more time for connection with emotions and fulfillment
I want to create something that other people will like.
The spirit wants me to create something that will indirectly cause people to feel fulfillment.
A webcomic or game is a way to escape. They could make people feel happy, but are likely not to cause fulfillment, unless they deal with deep personal issues, and then they might be less fun. Celeste is fun tho.
The programming language may cause people to feel fulfillment, as a result of being able to create. It is the fulfillment that Love2D or Scratch deal with, but I can't do it, despite what the spirit says. There's just not enough time, and, even if I do have time, I waste it trying to run from my emotions and the state of the world.
I can't keep blaming this on my mom's voice. Every time I'm creating something instead of doing work, she'll be all like "you should be doing work instead of creating that thing." I can't do anything with that voice, so it's a spiral of avoiding thought. It's a spiral of avoiding thought with being trans, with paranoia, anxiety, hhhhhhhh
it doesn't help that i'm in college and most of my classes are just computation
like, seriously, i've got one actually challenging class and the rest are hard just because i'm too stuck in avoidance of thoughts to do the homework even though it wouldn't take that long
hey kit, fun fact: i now know 2 he/they kits
(if you are still he/they)
(and you are not the same kit)
a very strange enchanted bee
they say bee wandered very far
very far, over land and sea
a little shy, and sad of eyes
but very wise was bee
looking at it, i don't think that the code in the image compiles
the first block is a function signature, and i haven't yet implemented function signatures, and the second one might set a variable to itself, but i haven't implemented setting variables to variables
the script is something yeeted together by myself because i was using opengl and didn't want to figure out font rendering. various parts of a glyph each correspond to one or more bits, and each glyph corresponds to 7 bits.
i think, that from most significant bit to least significant,
[1 bit for no middle triangle] [1 bit for middle triangle] [1 bit for x-flip] [2 bits in top shape] [2 bits in bottom shape]
i still haven't learned what each character looks like, which makes attempting to program in it difficult. i might make it simpler (4 bits per character or smth)
i don't think it would hurt to make my implementation public, but it is far from finished and, after i posted this, i may have broken the only things that were working
i don't really have other informations