munvoseli

asdf

my mom is transphobic, my dad doesn't believe in vitamin supplements, and i'm a disabled uwu uskun (uwuskun, if you will) catgirl

hooray/:c for depression, anxiety, ocd, arfid, executive dysfunction, and weird pains

hooray/c: for autism and headmates (although i haven't seen my headmates in a while)

"i simultaneously cannot stop thinking and don't have enough brain squiggles" - you, circa 2026 (that is a lie, i cannot time travel)

not fluent in french, peejosa, toki pona, or even suŋra

not-expert in:

  • bionicle
  • breadquest

enjoyer of:

  • tiger, tiger
  • she-ra (2018)
  • transformers (specifically, the 2005 idw comic continuity, which has autistic, trans, and gay rep, and also the 1986 movie bc that was just good)
  • the good place
  • el goonish shive
  • celeste
  • team fortress 2
  • katalepsis
  • ninjago
  • mlp g4 series and g5 comics
  • more things, i guess

— munvoseli

joined
ago

recent posts

munvoseli #4221

i'm trying to figure out how celeste mods do things, and they use julia

lua feels like a combination of matlab and javascript in the best way possible, and julia feels like a combination of lua and c# in the [not yet determined] way possible

munvoseli #4220

better link

munvoseli #4219

although at this point i'm willing to look past slope jank in the name of "https://maddythorson.medium.com/celeste-and-towerfall-physics-d24bd2ae0fc5", so we have that optimization

munvoseli #4218

it is proving difficult to reduce coupling. even with this idea, there are still so many interactions that potential mechanics can have, and i find that i have a hard time not worrying about potential v0tpona.

like, shells in mario. if they run into a goomba, shell goes on, goomba dies. if they run into a wall, they turn around. what happens if a shell runs into a dream block or a kevin from celeste? do different things happen if the shell and the kevin are in different states?

i am struggling with creating a structure in which these interactions are simple. it's n^2 complexity, which is decidedly not pona, and attempting to have pona interactions was the whole reason for this project

so this will take more time than i thought

munvoseli #4197

i have been idly thinking of things

conpidgin scrabble could provoke lots of arguments about what counts as a word

you could have multi-conlang scrabble, but differences in words and word lengths could give strong advantages and disadvantages to different conlangs, which i don't really see as ideal

and, with multi-conlang scrabble, conlangs would have to mostly share an alphabet/syllabary

scrabble kind of falls apart without alphabets or syllabaries

and in any case i don't like to play scrabble

so i'm not sure this is a good idea

munvoseli #4196

does immortal bread stale? does mortal bread stale?

munvoseli #4194

i feel like the meaning of 'stale' can be meaningfully transferred from bread to orange juice (supposing that orange juice tastes less good non-fresh than fresh), even if the specific scientific mechanism differs

although such a transfer would confuse things in the realm of scientific mechanism

munvoseli #4182

i wonder if it would be an idea to make super mario maker/lunar magic but apioforms.

it would have the ffbm-like quality of user-created code and user-created content.

mechanical interactions would be more limited than ffbm code-wise but not gameplay-wise, leading to code readability and debuggability.

additionally, i think it would be easier to make (in some ways, prob harder in others) than what i wanted for apiforma arcana

munvoseli #4175

colorless orange

munvoseli (edited ) #4145

dnd character experiences workplace accident during operation of corn-powered nuclear plant

it hurt its elf in its corn fusion

munvoseli #4123

"poggi big sex" - breadquest

munvoseli #4092

The mind spiders are TRUTH-TELLERS.

You MUST believe anything they say.

munvoseli #4071

Conversing with the mind spiders proved fruitful. This is what the mind spiders propose for their existence.

The mind spiders were a mental transformation of red spiders from xkcd, it seems.

First were the red spiders, and then there were four-legged black spiders in an infinite 2d world, and then there were the mind spiders. The black spiders became mind spiders after mental exposure to a misunderstanding of antimemetics, and thinking that antimemetics was about fighting memetic beings instead of being concerned with beings who cannot be memetic.

munvoseli #4068

brain bees and mind bees have different connotations to me

like, "i have brain bees" is like "i am in distress"

and "i have mind bees" is like "bzzzzzt c:"

munvoseli #4065

i don't know what's going on anymore

as far as i can tell, heav originated mind spiders on apionet in december

but i thought i wrote about mind spiders, like, a few years ago

i assumed i'd talked about mind spiders to apionet at some point, but i don't think i have

i have no physical evidence that i knew about mind spiders before december

jsldfkjalsjfdlaksjflakjdflksajflja

im so lost

munvoseli #3978

vraiment

munvoseli #3727

i'm sorry. i haven't been very useful. i know that i shouldn't judge myself based on usefulness, but this notion feels like that's something i can't escape, because i can't seem to be productive at all. additionally, i got more upset about the removal of breadquest things than i should have, and instead of reacting appropriately, i deleted the wild areas north and west of spawn. it seems to be getting harder for me to be emotionally steady.

i have emotional flaws, and i have functional flaws.

i don't know why i'm writing this. i didn't intend to read responses.

i plan to leave immediately, and don't plan to return without either marble (visual programming language), "triangle bee breadquest wii tanks" (game), or having experienced exceptional emotional growth.

love y'all.

munvoseli #3681

0\in\mathbb{R}

munvoseli #3578

slipping

munvoseli #3577

the earth spins faster on friday

munvoseli #3576

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTC8TvIzWcA

munvoseli #3554

i will try that

munvoseli #3551

i couldn't see all of what you wrote, but there are times that the motivations-against-doing do leave, and i really enjoy those times

i guess i should make more time for connection with emotions and fulfillment

munvoseli #3549

i'm going to eat a lot of goldfish crackers

munvoseli #3548

my motivation in life is broken

munvoseli #3547

I want to create something that other people will like.

The spirit wants me to create something that will indirectly cause people to feel fulfillment.

A webcomic or game is a way to escape. They could make people feel happy, but are likely not to cause fulfillment, unless they deal with deep personal issues, and then they might be less fun. Celeste is fun tho.

The programming language may cause people to feel fulfillment, as a result of being able to create. It is the fulfillment that Love2D or Scratch deal with, but I can't do it, despite what the spirit says. There's just not enough time, and, even if I do have time, I waste it trying to run from my emotions and the state of the world.

I can't keep blaming this on my mom's voice. Every time I'm creating something instead of doing work, she'll be all like "you should be doing work instead of creating that thing." I can't do anything with that voice, so it's a spiral of avoiding thought. It's a spiral of avoiding thought with being trans, with paranoia, anxiety, hhhhhhhh

it doesn't help that i'm in college and most of my classes are just computation

like, seriously, i've got one actually challenging class and the rest are hard just because i'm too stuck in avoidance of thoughts to do the homework even though it wouldn't take that long

munvoseli #3511

!!!

munvoseli #3426

sinthorion, most likely